new addiction....but im ok with it

i've recently become addicted to the west wing.  something about white house politics intrigues me.  

i love the history. i like the language they use (its quite clever and meaningful). i like the battle they're constantly fighting.  i like feeling like i'm on the inside to a very prestigious and secretive group.  i like the challenge of figuring the show out - they leave little mysteries here and there for me to discover and figure out.  

all i can say is: thank god for TiVo, if i had to wake up at 7 am to actually watch this show my dreams of vicariously living through TV characters to fulfill my dream of working for the POTUS would never be possible.  

i'm usually not afraid of flying BUT....

i'll be flying to kenya in august.  should i be nervous?  here's a CNN article that talks about another airplane crash in the last month....not to mention the plane that went down on the Hudson a little while ago.  

this, combined with the HORRIBLE luck i had in early june trying to get out of destin, florida to make it to cassie's wedding makes me less than excited about my 36 hour journey i'll be embarking on to nairobi.  

ok, airline industry, get it together already.  

coincidence?

here is a very reliable facebook trend i've noticed in the last 5 days:

every HS kid under the age of 16 thinks that transformers 2 is the best movie EVER.

every person over the age of 16 thinks that transformers 2 was annoying and lame.

coincidence....i think not.

sidenote: i dodged the bullet of having to watch the first transformers tonight while watching the brugner kids.  instead, we watched a scratchy disk of hoot.  some movie no one besides the brugner family has ever heard of :)  winner = me.

in honor of tonight

tonight, i'll be watching sytycd with some of my KREW girls (and taylor/Qadam?). 

tonight, i'm praying tabitha and napoleon are back (sorry shane sparks, you underwhelm me).

tonight, i'm hoping i get to see a dance that makes me as happy as this one

              

the prodigal god

i do love tim keller.  i mean whats not to love about the man?  i read him everyday i spent in Uganda.  reading him and listening to the crossing sermons is what made those 2 months not turn into spiritual suicide for me.  but i digress. 

so currently im reading the prodigal god, by mr. keller.  its great. and short. and an easy read.  all things good!   and tim keller is once again kicking my butt.  i mean seriously, the man is good.  so here's what im learning, in bullet points, of course!

side note: in case you were unaware the book TPG, is based on the luke 15 parable the prodigal son.....or if you're a keller fanatic (like me) you've renamed it to be the parable about the 2 lost sons.

• so the dad has 2 sons.  one son asks for his inheritance early and runs off and spends it within days/months and the other dutiful son stays at home faithfully serving his father.  obviously, i like to tell this story to all my non believing KREW kids as a way to encourage them to run to Jesus so that they might be forgiven of their sins.  YAY!  everyone can go home happy, right?  NO.  keep reading (allie).  the older son, the "pharisee" is me.  and here's why: while the older son  seems to be the "good" boy who faithfully serving his dad the whole time he actually doesn't get the gospel of grace at all.  see all the older son wants his dad's money/influence/stamp of approval.  he doesn't actually want anything to do with a relationship with him.  isn't this my heart?  the other day, i was leaving a friend and we we're talking about a difficult situation i'm in.  (i know, i being vague, get over it).  she asked me what repentance looked like for me in all of it - what would it look like if i stopped doing things the way i've always done them b/c im acting out of wounds and self-protection and what if i actually let my good and perfect father change me and mold me more and more into the woman of god he's created me to be.  and do you want to know what i said?  i told her, i don't want to repent, i want to be right.  ha.  oh i wish it weren't true.  i wish i wasn't so broken, but i am and we all are.   i am the older brother who doesn't want to attend the feast b/c im too happy(?) thinking i'm right and that what god is offering me couldn't possibly be better than my self-diagnosed CORRECT view on life.  oh lord, have mercy on me.

• i think i am a prodigal pharisee.  that's right, sometimes i do actually repent ;) and when i do, i do run into my father's loving and forgiving arms. and it is sweet.  so so so sweet.  now if i could just stop sinning altogether.......

• i admire the younger son.  at least he is being honest with god/his dad.  i mean sure he brings all sorts of shame and disgrace to his family by giving his dad a big "F" you and asking for his inheritance early.  sure he goes and spends his money with out a care in the world and sure he ends up eating and sleeping with the pigs.  BUT at least he's not pretending like everything is OK and being all deceitful by acting like he loves his father when he really can't even stand to be in the same room as him.  at least he sees his need for forgiveness.  i am often the older brother, i am often too blind to even see my own need, i am often the one lying to myself and thinking that i'm just fine and jesus' death isn't really on my top 5 list of necessary things to get through my day
  

dang it tim keller.  dang it.  i was doing just fine telling my easy parable to lost HS kids, why'd you have to go and make it all life-changing and amazing applicable to my OWN life.  dang it!