im obviously procrastinating

dear book and subsequent book review,

please read and write yourself. i just can't go 1/2 of a page without being bored/distracted. i've read every blog i follow atleast 4 times, i am completely caught up on the news in both the states and europe/asia, and my desktop is cleaned and organized. the only thing i have left to resort to is cleaning and well, i just cant find the motivation to do that either.

i will be such a happy girl when i'm finished with you,

allie

dear fall,

you're finally here! like legitly. like not for fake. like i wore wool socks today and my fall jacket today. like we made a fire last night and it was most necessary to stay warm and cozy and not just as a way to keep away the mosquitos. you are most welcome to stay for as long as you like. i adore you and everything pumpkin flavored.

i like you so much more than this book im trying to read,

allie

dear fantasy football team that's not really mine,

im so stinking proud of you. 3-0. seriously, i feel like a mother whose child just learned to walk or won a noble peace prize. i only fear that now i am forever hooked and my sunday's will now revolve around constant score checking.

i knew this would happen, and thus why i never did fantasy sports before,

allie

dear mumford and sons,

thank you for creating such pretty music for me to listen to while i try and read this stupid, freaking book. you are my sanity.

much love,

allie

ps avett bros and ben howard, you are also rock stars and i love you the mostest too.

dear sytycd tour,

you were absolutely FANTASTIC. minus the part where everyone kept talking a lot. that was lame, i like the dancing, that's why i bought the ticket, to watch dancers dance. so, just dont quit your day jobs, bc while you're over-rehearsed lines were at times funny, the amount of times you said "how lucky you were" and "how much this all meant to you" made me want to gag. you're not actors and so therefore your acting comes off fake.

no worries, i'll still watch every moment of next season,

allie

allie lately

1. i think, once i finish my current bottles of shampoo and conditioner, that i'm going to stop using them altogether and try this instead.

2. #3 should start composting asap. there's just no excuse when we can make one for just 35 bucks!

3. the slso and the fox both have last minute student tix offers. i'll be taking FULL advantage of this now.

4. you really should go vote for GAD on the pepsi refresh project. only 12ish days left!

5. the last 2 weeks jeopardy have been student weeks. nothing like a bunch of HS and college kids to make me feel smart.

6. i just bought these little gems. and i could NOT be more excited to get them in the mail.

wedding belles

It was a weekend of weddings with former president Bill Clinton’s daughter Chelsea marrying her long term beau, Marc Mezvinsky AND Alicia Keys and producer boyfriend, Swizz Beatz, eloped in the Mediterranean.

but, i was most excited about the non-real life wedding.

so, happy wedding day to lisa simpson to Hugh Parkfield, as predicted in a 1995 episode of "The Simpsons"

gosh i miss the 90s.

earmuffs please

sometimes ignorance is bliss. sometimes its not. sometimes you need to put the earmuffs on and excuse yourself from unnecessary pain. sometimes you need to jump right into crap and deal with it. there is indeed, a time for everything.

this summer is, in some facets of life, needing to be an "ignorance is bliss" sort of summer.

dont worry, i'll pull my head out of sand eventually. just not for the next 2 months.

letters to inanimate objects

dear local mexican food,

you were so cheap and so stinkin delicious. i miss you everyday. chipotle might be delicious, but it just doesn't compare to you.

i miss you, allie

my beloved cardinals,

this has just got to stop. seriously? get it together post-all star break or we will have more heated arguments in the coming months. seriously? i mean we're a game and a half back from the REDS? seriously? ugh, i'm so sad. and can we please get some run support for our starting pitchers? seriously!

this is getting ridiculous, allie

dear bed,

you rock. i have missed you oh so much lately. sleeping in you is pure magic. sorry i've been running away from you so much lately, i promise to really rekindle our relationship this fall. blame the youth group kids though, they keep stealing me away from you.

i will love you forever, allie

dear shelf organizer thingy i bought at target,

you were a beast to put together but you have brought serious organization to my room and i could not be more pleased. while your directions were confusing at several points and i was pretty sure i screwed up your assembly beyond repair, you came through for me in the end and allowed me to graciously fix my mistakes.

please last for a long time, allie

dear 4th of july,

you might be my favorite holiday EVER. so excited to celebrate you on sunday! thanks for fireworks, delicious bbqs, and allowing me to wear a tacky red-white-blue outfit with no shame.

i heart america, allie

ps it also means its almost brianna's first birthday! eeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dear saint louis,

um your weather lately has been AMAZING! holy cow, i thought i died and went to heaven this past week. thanks for the serious lack in humidity and for gorgeous blue skies.

feel free to stay exactly like this forever, allie

solid food is for grownups

i think i'm finally starting to feel like a grown up. i'm starting to see the abundance of gray in my choices, realizing that those choices often lead to no-win situations, and that i actually have to be responsible. i can't just do what i want anymore, b/c apparently my actions have real consequences that affect other people. ugh.....independence is not all its cracked up to be.

case in point: my little brother leaves for boot camp in two days. i am a bag a mixed emotions, to say the least.

of course i am so proud of him. he's willing to sacrifice that which i would never dare to even consider. he sees a need and is willing to die so that i can go on living my safe and secure life. he wants to be apart of something bigger than himself, to serve. he's doing something only 1% of all people will ever do - serve their country. he's about to go through 14 weeks of pure HELL in the middle of georgia in the middle of the summer. ewwwwww.

i'm also incredibly scared. i don't want him to get shipped off to iraq. i dont want him to die. i dont want him to come home with ptsd and loose the man that i know to be so caring and genuine and tender. we've been through some of the most difficult times of our lives together, and we survived together. we leaned on each other. we understood each other when no one else could. and i don't want to loose the part of him that can go to those deep and hard places with me. i dont want to loose the only other person who gets that part of me.

i am excited. this is something he's wanted to do since he was in elementary school. he's always had this desire to serve his country in him. he's doing something he finds great value and honor in. he's living a dream. he's living out some of the most glorious parts of what make him an image bearer. and how can i not be excited that he's imaging the lord, that he's fighting for the least of these, that he's willing to die so that others might live?

i'm burdened. i want to trust the lord. i want to believe that even if he comes home screwed up or doesn't come home at all, that whether the lord gives or takes away, that i will still praise Him. i want to believe that god is good no matter what the circumstance, no matter how much it hurts, no matter what the cost. oh but how little faith i have. last night i wanted to bargain with jesus, i realized that was stupid so i went on to tell god how absolutely pissed i'd be if this didn't turn out the way i wanted. i told him i wasn't sure i'd survive if he didn't come home. oh man, i let god have it . and i cried b/c that seemed like the only reasonable response to all the ambivalence i was feeling inside.

and so i turned to good 'ole cs lewis. this is from a grief observed:

"The more we believe that God hurts only to heal, the less we can believe that there is any use in begging for tenderness. A cruel man night be bribed-might grow tired of this vile sport-might have a temporary fit of mercy, as alcoholics have fits of sobriety. But suppose that what you are up against is a surgeon whose intentions are wholly good. The kinds and more conscientious he is, the more inexorably he will go on cutting. If he yielded to your entreaties, if he stopped before the operation was complete, all the pain up to that point would have been useless. But is it credible that such extremities of torture should be necessary for us? Well, take your choice. The tortures occur. If they are unnecessary, then there is no God or a bad one. If there is a good God, then these tortures are necessary. For no even moderately good Being could possibly inflict or permit them if they weren't? Either way, we're for it. What do people man when they say, "I am not afraid of God because I know He is good"? Have they never even been to a dentist?"

and just so you know, im still excited/proud/scared out of my mind/burdened for my brother. and i probably will be until the day when he gets discharged and is home for good. (and even then, there are not guarantees. who is to say he couldn't die in a car crash etc right here at home?) but it does remind me of this: to go to god. even when i dont want to b/c im too mad or too scared or too sad. even when my heart believes that He is not good. even when i don't believe He will enact real change. even when my soul is crushed. go to Him. go to the one who is the I AM. the one who promises to deliver his people. the one who promises to wipe away every tear. the one who is coming back.

and this is why being an adult is so difficult. b/c i actually have to go to god. i know the right answers now, i have no excuse. i can't just wallow in my self pity. i have to actually eat solid food - i actually have to take the next step, i actually have to trust Him more. and while that all sounds great and dandy, and really is something i want, man oh man, is it difficult. it'd be so much easier if god just left me stagnant b/c this whole transforming grace thing is painful.

so in the end, i'm just glad this whole thing isn't up to me. he puts the desire to follow Him more and more into my heart in the first place. He really will be the one who causes me to turn from the baby food mush i've been so satisfied with and turn me towards real grown-up food.

as if the tampon jokes weren't enough...

these are hilarious. i dont care who you are.

new cell phone = iPad + Skype + retro headset

and here is how to print from your iPad.